It's Better This Way
by laine likes you
Summary: SONG: Miranda had her heartbroken and Gordo lied... Can he fix what he messed up?
1. Anyone Who Had a Heart

No one knows it, but me. No one knows it because I won't... no- can't tell them. But if they knew, they would think the way I think. They would feel the way I feel. But they don't. They don't know me.  
  
Sometimes I think even my best friends don't know me. We've known each other since we were five, and they still haven't figured it out. Maybe that's a good thing. But- I want them to know how I feel. I want them to know that one of them means much more to me than the other.  
  
Pretty cruel, huh?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*anyone who had a heart*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It's not that I favor one over the other. It's just that- I have deeper feelings for one of them. Feelings that I never understood- until now.  
  
It's that feeling you get when you're with him and you never want him to leave. It's when he gives you that comforting hug and you know you could stay in his arms forever.  
  
I'm trying to sound concieted here, but- if I harbored these feelings for some other guy, he would be wrapped around me finger.  
  
See, the thing is- I don't want "some other guy". The guy I want is my best friend. The guy I want is that guy that doesn't want me.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*would take me in his arms and love me, too*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
That's what hurts the most. My feelings couldn't get any stronger, and he could care less. I don't blame him -considering I haven't told him- but, even if I did... I don't even know how he would react.  
  
Actually, I do. I DO know how he would react.  
  
"I'm sorry, but- I don't feel the same way."  
  
What a bunch of crap. If I told him, I know that the aftermath wouldn't be pretty. There would be tears, maybe some yelling, and possibly some running away. But, there is one thing that I know for sure... my heart would be breaking.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*you couldn't really have a heart and hurt me*  
  
  
  
  
  
My beast friend breaking my heart. Who would have thought?... I know I didn't. It's a hard concept to grasp, but I've learned to live with it.  
  
I've learned how to keep my feelings for him bottled up, and I've learned how to keep my cool when I'm alone with him. It took me a while not to do or say anything that would give it away, but take it from me- I'm a pro, now.  
  
I mean, it is hard to see him, then begin daydreaming about what it would be like to be with him- then something snaps you back to reality and then you realize- that dreams are way better then reality.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*like you hurt me and be so untrue*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
God! If I was his girlfriend, I would give him everything! I would be so true to him. I mean, I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years -all the guys I date- I tend to compare them to him. Just to let you know...  
  
No one comes even close.  
  
Maybe I'm too picky. Or maybe its just him that I want. Well- both could be true. Actually, both ARE true.  
  
But let me tell you, and I'm not trying to be conceited or anything, but- any guy would be lucky to have me. And honestly, and girl would be happy to have him.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*anyone who had a heart would love me too*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
You know what, maybe I AM being to picky. Maybe I should just get over him and move on to someone better. Someone who I know would be there for me.  
  
Well- maybe not. 'Cuz if I did move on to someone else, I know he would be there for me- but I wouldn't be there for him. And I wouldn't want to do that to anyone.  
  
And besides- no one is better than my best friend.  
  
Maybe there is. Maybe I just haven't found him yet. Maybe I've been so stuck on my best friend that I've been too naive to look.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*anyone who had a hear would take me in his arms and love me too*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Maybe I should just tell him. Yah- I will...  
  
"Hey!" I greeted as he sat down  
  
"Hey" He replied, "so what's up?"  
  
"Well actually, I have to tell you something." I said in all seriousness  
  
"Sounds important. Shoot!"  
  
"Well- I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it" I paused (probably for dramatic effect) "Gordo, I- I- I'm falling in love with you." I finished weakly  
  
"Whoa- Miranda" He began. I prepared myself for heartbreak "You're my best friend but, I'm sorry- I don't feel the same way."  
  
And there it was. Everything all roled into one. Some tears, but no yelling, a little bit of running, and a whole lot of my heart breaking.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*why won't you*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
::from laney  
hola! it was an m/g fic, but they didnt end up together... maybe i'll continue it with other song fics and EVENTUALLY get them together... should i?  
  
i got this idea when i was watching american idol 2. kimberly sang it n i thought it was cute! just do you know... ruben is gonna kick @$$!!! excuse my language =\ 


	2. I'm Sorry

*i'm so sorry that i tore your heart apart last night (and I'm sorry)*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Stupid, stupid, STUPID GORDO! How can you live with yourself after hurting Miranda, your best friend, they way you did yesterday...  
  
She didn't even say ANYTHING to me after I told her I didn't feel the same. She just ran off, with tears in her eyes. And the worst part about it- I didn't run after her to see if she was ok. What's probably even worse- what I told her was a lie.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*and i'm sorry if i scarred you again today (i didn't mean to take your dreams)*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Maybe I should call her. No. She won't even pick up the phone.  
  
I've been trying to get a hold of her since I woke up... which was 4 hours ago. Why won't she pick up her phone?... Because you hurt her you idiot! She's your best friend and you hurt her. She's your best friend and you LIED to her.  
  
Why did I lie to her anyways? I rarely ever do. Maybe I should call her. Yah- I will. And this time, if she doesn't answer- I'll leave a message.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*i didn't mean to take your dreams and make them seem so trite*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ring. Ring. Ring.  
  
"Miranda's NEW phone line... you know what do you!" I heard Miranda's sing-song voice say  
  
Beep.  
  
"Miranda, look- I'm really sorry. I honestly didn't want to hurt you the way I did. I just really wanna know if you're ok. Please, PLEASE call me back. There is something really important I wanted to tell you and saying it over an answering machine wouldn't be right. Please call back. You already know who this is."  
  
Well, hopefully she'll call me back, THEN I could tell her how I really feel. Why did I lie anyways?  
  
Because I've never been big on feelings. And these feelings I have for Miranda... well- they're pretty strong. And when she told me she felt the same, being me- I lied to her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*(i sincerely) i sincerely (oh), completely (yeah) apologize for doin' what i did*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Two hours later and still no call from Miranda.  
  
Ding Dong.  
  
Great. With my luck, its probably some salesman selling some stuff that doesn't even work, then I'll get all call from Miranda and I won't be able to answer it because of his continuous talking.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Miranda?" I asked in disbelief (I guess my luck isn't so bad afterall)  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Yah, sure." I ushered her into my family room  
  
"I got your message."  
  
"Yah- about that." I paused  
  
"Well? What did you wanna tell me?" She asked with no emotion on her face  
  
"First off, I'm really sorry for what happened yesterday" I paused again "And- well-" Come on Gordo... spit it out!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
::from laney  
  
you like? kinda weird.. REVIEW! 


	3. Heart

*give it time, help me through*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Gordo?" I asked, a little irritated "What?"  
  
Ok. I was getting a little tired of his stalling.  
  
Doesn't he know how much it hurts just being in his house, knowing he doesn't feel the same about me. I've prepared myself for heartbreak, but I never knew it would feel like this... like I would feel like this.  
  
Come on Gordo- just get it over with. I need most of the day to get over you. Hell- I need most of the YEAR to get over you.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*heart, we can do this together*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Miranda" he began again "I really don't know how to say this..."  
  
"Just say it." I said "Look- I don't even know why I came here. I THOUGHT I prepared myself for heartbreak- but I guess I was wrong. So can you just get it over with?"  
  
"Heartbreak?" He asked "You think I was going to tell you that I didn't feel the same, didn't you?"  
  
Was he really doing this to me?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*you're my strength, you're my soul*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What am I suppose to think?" I asked incredulously "That IS what you told me yesterday! You totally disregarded my feelings! And considering you're also MY FRIEND, you didn't even check to see if I was ok!"  
  
"Miranda please, wait-"  
  
"No- I've waited long enough... my heart has waited long enough." I said as I headed for his front door.  
  
I sighed, "And it wasn't even worth the wait."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*i need you now more that ever*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dammit! This is what I get for giving him a second chance! Why do I always set myself up for these kind of things!  
  
I always prepare myself for heartbreak, then- I realize at the last minute that I'm not that strong. I never have been.  
  
Yah, you would think that the independent, different, "not-caring-what-you-think Miranda", could get through something like this.  
  
But I'm not that independent... sometimes I do need someone to be there for me. And I'm not that different... sometimes I DO like to fit in. And I DO care what people think of me.  
  
Especially Gordo.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
::from laney  
  
hmm.. good? bad? tell me! 


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